NOBODY TELLS ME NOTHIN' // HAWKEYE SQUARED

The morning had been fair, one of those mornings where you almost forget that the world had been cut off. The only thing giving it away was how blue the New York City air was. There were no planes, no clouds, just blue skies and she couldn't remember the last time she had ever seen the sky like that. The emptiness was enough to remind her that though. Her friends were gone, her team were still missing....Clint was missing. She found herself drawn thoughtlessly back to the place they used to hang out. She wondered though the city like a child lost in the New York smog, from Manhattan to the subway and then downstream towards Staten Island.

She had time to think. It was strange that people didn't seem to flinch at the purple clad archer wondering around with her bow because right now the Avengers were kinda the only thing holding the city together and they had to be visible. It was a duty Kate took to heart. As she crossed the bridge she could have sworn that she heard his voice upon the wind, but as she wondered he didn't turn up. Sometimes when she was on rooftops she expected him to be there, she was stood there in her sadness expecting to show up and join in harmony. She expected purple arrows across the sky and bad jokes. Except he was gone.

Maybe he was dead.

Maybe she had got him killed after all it was her stupid plan that pissed off Madam Masque to the point she swore death on both of them. There were all these little distractions though, the guilt weighing heavy on her after the relations about her family that Tony had unlocked. Everything had changed. That was the thing. Everything did change. In the time it took for her to take a step the world had turned a touch on its axis. It upset her that her city had been cut off and she was ready to make a mental list of all the reasons but something caught her eye.

There was someone in the water.

Kate didn't really thing, she just did. Which was always what she did. She reached into her quiver and in the blink of an eye she had it knocked. She locked her arm, rotated her shoulder round, anchored the shot. It was perfect. She was textbook perfection with a two thousand dollar bow and tens of thousands of arrows of experience. Kate relaxed. Exhaled. And let go. The arrow went sailing into the sky headed precisely where she had aimed for – straight down into the water about an inch in front of him. The rope ran through the riser, longer than someone would expect but that was Pym tech for you.

“Thought you might need a hand!” She yelled to whoever it was. Come on it wasn't the season for swimming in the bay, it never was, unless you wanted to catch some horrible disease.

It wasn't until she got him out of the water Kate recognised him. Maybe because she just hadn't been expecting it. She stood there and looked down at him and then it sank in. He didn't realise who she was. Kate held her bow to her chest, wrapped both arms around it and held it close like a comfort blanket when she realised that it was the last thing that she had. It was his bow. It was the one he'd gotten her for her birthday. It was almost becoming like a comfort blanket, she didn't feel safe without it these days. It was her weapon of choice.

It sounded like him. Maybe that was the worst thing. It actually sounded like Clint Barton and it dug the knife in a little deeper. Reminded her that her Clint was still out thre somewhere and there was a pretty massive chance that he was hurt somewhere and that he was in danger and she couldn't get to him. That idea kept going around and around in her head. It kept haunting her. Kate just had to push it aside and get on with the situation at hand. There was nothing else that she could do.

“Yeah I just stand around waiting for pretty boys to fall form the sky Doofus.” The pet name slipped from her tongue without her really thinking about it. It just happened and she mentally kicked herself. Doofus and Girly-Girl. Kinda summed up everything they were. She kept wondering about him though, stupid things, like was he still really mad at her for crashing his car? Because she had really messed that car up.

Kate was making mental notes, still deaf in one ear...she guessed somethings never changed. Still clueless. Still had no idea what was going on. Kate shrugged her shoulders at him, how did you explain it to someone. “The end of the world.” She stated simply, this was how apocalypses started in the movies, Kate wasn't stupid, she knew exactly how serious the situation was here. “Okay so basically, the cities cut off. Thanos did something and collided the multiverse and separated the city. You can't get in. You can't get out. You're stuck here like the rest of us Hawkeye.”

She was going to have to explain the other situation too. Shit.

“My names Hawkeye as well...in my world were kinda...I don't want to use the word sidekick because everyone uses that word and I'm totally not a sidekick and if you call me a sidekick I will shoot you with a taser arrow but it's a really long complicated story I just don't want you to freak out.” It was a fast, long winded and totally grammatically incorrect explanation, she could almost hear her Clint go don't dangle your prepositions like that GirlyGirl. “I know it's a little, woah, but like....come on we can go get coffee and get in from the cold and I'll explain anything you want...you're not the first one to show up from another world.”

He really had no idea who she was. “Listen I'll explain everything alright but let's just get out of the street first? You wont believe the day I'm having and I'd like a sit down.” She hardly managed to finish her request before he was off in front of her. Kate narrowed her eyes at him before muttering to herself “Rude.” She didn't expect anything less than that though.

The coffee shop was warm, a head or two turned as they slipped in and she found the silence and his mood awkward. She ordered a coffee, the biggest latte she could get her hands on and wasn't shocked the man waiting their table recognised her, 'Hawkeye right? Avengers drink free here so they're on the house and ya know...thanks about the...the Russian thing in Bed-Stuy....my mom lives in that neighbourhood and she got to keep her house so...thanks yaknow.' The guy was young, a little older than Kate maybe but still genuinely thankful. Kate just smiled, nodded her head, “no worries, you mom has anymore let us know.” because watching people made homeless onto the streets by the mob was one of the few things Kate and Clint couldn't have sat by and watched. That was the kind thing they did as Avengers. While people fought space monsters Kate and Clint were busy saving homes and pulling kids out of hostage situations.

Sitting back she let her coffee sit there for a moment, moved her quiver on to her lap, it chinked and rustled with the full complement of arrows on her side and she felt the plastic keychain in her hand. It was stupid. It was sentimental but it was kinda Kates style. She was holding it, looking down at it as she took a deep breath and attempted to explain everything in a way he'd understand. “My names Hawkeye...or Kate....Kate Bishop. The universe is made of lots of worlds, there are lots of versions of you and I out there. Every choice has created a world, in some of them you turned left inside of right one day, nothing much has changed in some their hugely different. On I saw the Germans won the war it was not a fun place...but they are colliding. Crashing together and people are falling in to New York....which is cut off. I guess we're kinda in a city wide prison. People just...vaporise if they try and cross the barrier out.”

Wow that was a lot to take in.

She managed to get the keychain loose, sat it on the table and there the two of them were Kate and Clint, Hawkeye and Hawkeye. It was part of a bigger picture she had cut out. He was at least a foot and a half taller, she was wearing her old costume, it was years ago now but he had an arm around her, hand on her head as if to ruffle her hair and Kate in the middle of shooting him a look that could have killed him. “That's me and...well my cLint, the Clint from my world. We're kinda a team ya know. Hawkeye and Hawkeye....someone actually proposed Hawkeye squared and I liked that a lot better but he said no...mostly because I liked it because he's kinda a douchebag.” Kate lit up a little while talking about him, then she remembered he wasn't here, she picked up her coffee, sipped at it and told herself to remember that he was gone. She might never see him again. There was a good chance he was dead. As best as she tried to hide it there always seemed to be sadness painted across her eyes these days.

“Avengers have been showing up but their not always form the same worlds....Cap's from my world...Tony showed up a while ago but again...another world...who knows where the rest are...the Young Avengers are all still missing. Everyone I know is.”

“Yup. Real fun if you know...you're into that kinda thing.”

Kate didn't know what to do next. This was the kind of day where everything felt like it weighed tons on your shoulder, the kinda days you felt that you couldn't win no matter what you did or said. The hunger to drag yourself though the day disappeared and sure these things didn't kill her but they didn't made her feel any stronger either, and she could feel herself straying from the path she was meant to be following her. If he had been here he would have dragged her back to shore from the pit she could feel herself drowning in. Clint always understood that she had secrets, the worst one of all that she had never been able to hide from him was that she was never as strong as she sounded. That she couldn't do it on her own and he was okay with that, because he couldn't do it on his own either. They needed each other and they would never have ever admitted that to each other, they didn't need to. As long as they had each other they were going to be okay.

'Hold your head up high.' That's what he would have said. Clint might not be here but the things he said to her were; 'you'll miss every shot you can't be bothered to take kiddo, that's not living life, that's just being a tourist. Take every shot. Hold your head up high and take every shot.' He wouldn't want her sat here upset, he'd want her out there doing what he had trained her to. Being a good Avenger. Putting her skills at use to help the people that needed them the most. She had work to do and he would have killed her if he found out she laid awake at night feeling sick praying that he was alive and okay.

She wished she hadn't helped him out the water. That she had been a few moments earlier because then she wouldn't have to have this conversation. She reached forward picking up the keychain. The only thing certain was that everything changed. They had been brothers. Superheros. They could have been anything and yet everything changed. In the still moment that it took to take a photograph the world had turned a touch on it's axis. Now they were stuck in another world, everything she knew was gone...filled with people who didn't know her and ghosts of the past singing songs that she didn't know. Holding the photograph in her hands she wanted to punch Clint Barton so hard. 'Remember the moment, be proud you were there then go find new moments. Go find all the moments and live them Katie.' The things he said shouldn't have that much of an effect on her. Certainly not this far down the line.

He'd always encouraged her to let go of the little distractions, hold the ones she loved close because they might not all be here this time next year. To take photos while she could, he'd been the one to pick her up when half her team had been slaughtered while she had been in charged, told her boys were stupid when her boyfriend left her...gave her a smack across the back of the head when she needed it.

“I know.” Kate cleared her voice of all emotion, her face betrayed her though. Idly she wondered if there would be any hotel rooms around because she didn't want to go back to her apartment. There was too much of him there, bit's of gear, hoodies and dog toys when he would drop by and forget to take them with him. “Hawkeye is as much my name as it is yours and I earned it. I earned it when he pretend to be dead and we thought he was gone. We can walk away from here and go our seperate ways....and you can go do whatever it is you want but it's my name. Like I said. I earned it. He let me have it. I'll give it up over my dead body.” She said it with every fibre of conviction she had in her body. She was a Hawkeye. She always would be.

He sounded bored of her already, that was what she awes always scared of, people got bored of her and moved on....because when they realised that she wasn't going to throw her money on everyone they found someone else that would. She was a novelty for most people. The Bishops were New York royalty and when people realised how boring she was they just...walked away. This was fucking record status fast though.

He wasn't taking the name though, that gave her something, she had fucking something left. She clung to the name, it was a ghost that carried with it Clint, they had a joint legacy to live the world and Kate knew when she reached retirement she would pass the name onto someone else. It was bigger than the two of them now and in all honesty Kate was fighting for that rather than anything else.

Kate could fully understand him wanting to disappear, wanting to go back to just being...well whatever it was and she shrugged her shoulders. She was reaching back into her quiver, pulled out a couple of notes. “You can go do whatever you want. Doesn't make a difference to me.” There was a practised emptyness in her voice. That was what Kate did when things got too much she just completely shut down. Like her brain turned off her ability to do things...she wasn't going to cry, she wasn't going to beg...if he wanted nothing to do with her then it was his loss not hers....right?

“My Clint always had a habit for the melodramatic. Got him in trouble but it was hilarious none the less.” Kate wouldn't look at him, she made her hands busy folding the fifty dollar note up carefully so it would fit under her almost empty coffee cup...she liked leaving surprise tips and if she had the money to spare then she had it to share. There was still that horrible void. She wasn't being cold, there wasn't venom, anger or sadness. Just nothing. That was her defence. Every thing he said almost made it worse, like he was going to shot up...Kate knew it wasn't going to happen but every time her Avengers card beeped or there was a knock at the door for just a moment she had her hopes up high and every time it ended with her head hung low.

She put another fifty on the table and slid it towards him, “get the train to Manhattan, they're still on but running reduced timetable, you wanna get off at Wall Street and turn left, the big ugly tower that looks like a llama is Avengers slash Stark Towers, Tony's there I'm sure he'll be able to help you with anything you need or any other questions you have.” She drained the last of her coffee, sat the folded up note under it and leaned back. “I hope you're finding the answers you look for...though I don't know if you will like them all. Fate's aim seems to be off lately, it's shots always seem to fall short.”